Your Prayers are Needed

I have an important event in our family's life to share with you. This is painful and demanding a lot of our time and energy right now. Please know that this post may be difficult for you to read and does contain sensitive material.

Monday, August 2nd, Ophelia was sexually assaulted by a teenage boy while Lavinia watched. Ophelia is physically ok but emotionally we are all having a hard time. I know some of you are going to want some details, let me give you what we are ready to share.

We were having dinner and some dessert with friends after our families had gone swimming. In between dinner and dessert, clearing the table, loading the dishwasher, and messing around on the computer so I could learn how to post pictures on this site, Ophelia and Lavinia went upstairs to an open play room (no doors) to watch a cartoon. Somewhere in the course of that 20-30 minutes, our friends 13 year old son assaulted Ophelia while Lavinia watched. Lavinia came down while we were starting to eat dessert to get hers and she told us what happened. Long story short, Jeremy talked with her and then Ophelia alone before alerting me. Ophelia told us everything very clearly and in detail. There was no doubt that she was telling the truth, she couldn't have known what she described. She was afraid she was in trouble and we have repeatedly assured her that she did nothing wrong, that what happened wasn't her fault. People, I can't tell you how shocking this was to us. This is a family we trust and consider family. We love them dearly and the boy is the kind of kid that everyone would describe as "good." Our research has revealed to us that a very high percentage of sexual assaults and rapes, specially of minors, happen with people that victim knows, usually family. We are very certain that this was the first time it happened (at least with our girls) and we are taking all the steps we know to help us heal from this. As a family we are in therapy and this has been reported to the authorities.

We have considered remaining silent but we have decided, as a family, that silence is not going to help terrible things like what happened to our family to stop. Please, speak to your children, speak out about what behaviors are acceptable and how to treat people and how not to let others treat you. As we've started speaking out, people tell us that they don't want to talk to their children yet (as in 12 years old for some). If you think it's too early, remember this, the boy that did this turned 13 this summer. Ophelia is 5 and Lavinia (who saw it all ) is 3. It's not too early. For our children, it was too late. We had talked with them about the difference between boys and girls and about not looking at our touching others, but we never told them what to do if someone forced them to do something. Please, the only real way to fight this kind of thing is education, speak out. For us, while the state is involved and the police are questioning our girls, we know that this boy will suffer the consequences of his actions as well as experience forgiveness through Christ. Many perpetrators do not have this. We are blessed that we found out so soon, we are not going to waste that blessing by covering this up. Our daughters shouldn't have any shame over what happened to them, only the one who did it and anyone that thinks we should hide it. We will not be silent.

Please pray for us. We have a long road ahead of us but we are following Christ in all things. If you'd like to email or call us, please do so. When there is more to share, I will but it is just too difficult to constantly relive what happened, so we are speaking out in ways that we can control as much as possible. Thank you for your prayers.

In Christ,

Jessica

Helena... can I come in please?

Ophelia... taking the plunge!

Lavinia... look at me!

Ophelia enjoying a swim

Helena telling her big sisters how to swim. August 2, 2004

Lavinia after swimming. August 2, 2004

The Martin-Webers

Changes

Jeremy turns 28 this week, really hard for me to believe. In two years (in case you can't count), he'll be 30. In two years we will have been married for 10 years. Amazing and really wonderful. At the end of this month we celebrate our 8th anniversary. Eight years and we are still very much in love and even though now I look back and wonder how our parents let us get married so young (ok, not that they had much of a choice... we would have gotten married no matter what!), it was and is still the right thing for us. For all of you that knew us then and today, thanks for supporting us and loving us, you are all very special and important to us.

We had a wonderful family vacation July 16th-25th. Our plans kept us in Houston most of the time to enjoy many of the things this city has to offer. It was great to spend all that time with the girls and just hanging out as a family. We did fun things including visiting the retired Battleship Texas (lots of climbing, lots of heat, lots of fun), Old MacDonalds Farm (pony rides, large petting zoo of farm animals), Blue Bell Ice Cream Creamery, Miller Outdoor Theatre (wonderful production of Big River), Mommy and Daddy date day (no kids for an afternoon and evening!), Movie Theater, Galveston Beach for a couple of days, and a canoe trip with the two older girls. We had such a wonderful time, bery relaxing. Monday the 25th saw us back in the office but then I had the chance to go to Chicago for a few days. I left Tuesday evening and stayed until Friday, the 30th. It was wonderful. Chicago is still home in our hearts, was even when we were living in Kankakee, we were there so often (can you say commute?) and we still hope to someday move back and live in the city. I went with Karen Zapata and her daughter Maria. Karen was there for work but Maria was there to experience the city. A budding amature photographer, she got some great shots in that wonderful city and I got to be her guide to some of the best spots I knew of. I got to see millinium park for the first time (it was completed just this year, four years late and several million over budget...)and get to some of our old haunts. For me it was a bit like a trip down memory lane and I wished Jeremy had been there. I got to see places such as where we had our first kiss, where we ate lunch on our wedding day (Penny's Noddle Shop!), where we met (Moody Bridal, er, uh, Bible Institute...)and the first church we worked in among other very special places to us. The best part of my trip was getting to seee some very special people! I wish I had had more time there, I would have loved to have gotten down to Kankakee and see so many more people. Since it was such short notice that I was going to be there and for such a short time, I only got to see a handful of people. Thom and Rhonda Showers, our best friends, picked Maria and I up at O'Hare airport and we enjoyed a long (really long, we went a little out of our way to get to the hotel!)ride and dinner at Baker's Square (oh how we've missed the French Silk Pie!). I got to see Rhonda and she brought along Soleil on Wednesday for some shopping at our favorite thrift store in Chicago Heights (go AMVETS!)and then dinner at Giordano's for some wonderful Chicago style stuffed pizza. Thursday I was able to hook up with Phil and La Engle for lunch at Big Bowl on Rush street. Good food and even better company. On Friday I was able to see Harry and Athen Raftis from our Lincoln Park days. It was so good to see them and I got to tell Harry that he was right about what Jeremy and I are called by God to do. He was so happy to hear that we are in full time ministry, he just "knew" that he was right about us! When I told him that I'm going back to school to pursue God's calling eveng farther, he got tears in his eyes. It was good to see them, great to be in the city and now it's nice to be home. I may not be a big fan of Houston, but my family is better than any city I can think of.

This is already a long post, I hope it was at least entertaining. I do have some news I want to share with all of you, after a lot of prayer and searching for God's direction in our lives, we believe that God has called me to be a pastor. I'm going back to school (just one class this semester, easing my way back into it) to get my bachelor's and then hopefully on to seminary. We know it's going to be a long and hard road, but we believe this is God's will and we will get through on His strength, crazy as it may all seem. Once again, Jeremy knew and recognized the direction that God is leading us before I did. He is more than supportive of me going back to school and we still view ourselves as a close team meant to be in ministry together. We are very excited and ask that you keep us in your prayers. If you would like to know what specifics we need prayed over, please email me and I would be happy to share with you the prayers we are lifting before the Lord as we explore this new adventure in our faith and ministry journeys.

My next post will be all about the new school year and the girls. They are doing great and I hope soon to have some pictures posted of the girls and my trip to Chicago. Please keep us updated as to where you are and what you have going on in your lives as well.

Peace and blessings in Christ,

Jessica