The Cutest Things

Ophelia, Lavinia, Helena... the cutest things. We have a special "mommy book" that is kept up on a high shelf and is never read alone but is only read by mommy to one or all of the girls. It's called "When I Grow Up, I Will Be Me." We love this book, it's wonderful and has become a very special shared moment that is repeated between the girls and I. It's fun and interactive and a very nice experience for us to share. I've realized that I'm going to have to get three more of these books, keep them in their package and give them to each girl as a high school graduation gift... I can't believe I'm thinking about their high school graduation. I love our daughters, they are amazing and they teach me so much. This book is so special to us, for them it is a special time with me and a time for them to be encourage to be just who God made them be, no more, no less and to take the time ro enjoy the world around them with repsect for the world and the people they share it with. For me, it's a beautiful time with them and a reminder that we have to let them be just who God made them be, no more, no less. As they help me read our special book I am amazed at how much each girl is already who God made them to be, each unique and shinning with a quiet strength that none of us understand, but all of us are blessed by and grateful for. And they are so cute!

Most of this post is actually about Helena, our baby that's really not much of a baby anymore, but will stay that way in our hearts forever anyway. Helena is a year and a half old, hard to believe. She looks so much like her daddy except she has blue eyes and a little girls sweetness/cuteness that daddy is (thankfully) lacking. In a way, we can see a little bit of each of her sisters in her, not just in her looks, but in her personality and expressions. Strong willed (and that makes three!), she knows what she wants and makes sure everyone else does too. Very curious and determined, she hates the words "no," "don't," and "stop." There is nothing that she won't try and heigth and danger are of no concern to her, she is more than willing to climb in, up, on, or behind anything to find out what she wants to know. A little too smart for her own good, she has figured out how to open doors, remove outlet safety covers, and unlock the dishwasher. A constant challenge to keep up with, she has a wonderful time exploring her world. She walks independent and sure, running most of the time unless we ask her to and then of course, she saunters at her own leisurely pace. Not interested in talking for a while, she has suddenly launched into two or three word phrases. We often hear “want some,” wanna sit,” “where is it?” and “what’s that?” The single words she says include mommy, daddy, doggie, uh-oh, ball, book and more that I can’t think of right now. She understands even more and like all children, has developed some of her own words for things. Her energy is almost always high and she is already demonstrating a musical and rhythmic ear… I don’t know why! Dancing, clapping, singing and “playing the piano” are all some of her favorite activities. She is already keeping good time with her rhythm and matches pitch most of the time when she sings. Every chance she gets to bang on drums, she plays her heart out, loud, hard, and with a steady rhythm. Helena was one of our more difficult babies when it came to sleeping, unlike Ophelia and Lavinia, she wakes easily and needs a rather quiet environment to sleep well… no small task in our house. Still, she has slept through the night since a few weeks old… even better after three months and now we almost never hear from her. She goes done easily and stays down as long as we make sure it doesn’t sound like she’s trying to sleep in a war zone! We’ve used her need for a quieter environment to sleep as an opportunity to teach respect. Helena goes to “school” three days a week and loves it, her favorite teacher is Miss Yolanda. She is friendly to everyone she meets, though often a little shy initially with a smile that promises that if you give her just a bit, she’ll be a good friend. Her big sisters love to look out for her and take care of her, they brag often on her latest achievements. Helena is both a daddy’s girl and a mommy’s girl… she gives love freely and expressively to all of us. We’re proud of our baby, she’s beautiful, smart and very loving.

Hope you enjoyed the update… being the mother than I am, I’m afraid that I went on and on a bit! Oh well, Helena’s worth it! I have some more news that I really need to share here, but it will have to wait for another time. I will say that God has opened some exciting doors for us in our ministry, we will have more to share about that soon. Stay well.

update

it's hard to know where to start, i'm sorry it's been so long since i've posted anything. we've had so much going on and so many events to share with you... let me see...

ophelia has lost her first two teeth! we were so excited and the tooth fairy was generous, two dollars in shiny new state quarters for the first tooth and a dollar for the second one. ophelia believes she is very rich... we think so too, but not because of her quarters! she was very brave about loosing her teeth and even lost the second one while we were ate the mall, the hot dog she was eating just about did it for her and mommy finished it off. so now she has a big gaping whole in the middle of her bottom jaw and we can just see one new tooth pushing through. of course, this hole has provided much entertainment for all us with the tricks she can do now! ophelia started school at Valley Oaks elementary School two weeks ago. she started about 2 1/2 weeks late, but she is fitting in very well and loves it. school is an exciting adventure for her and she is excelling beyond our expectations, we are so proud of her. at the doctors office a few weeks ago, we learned that ophelia is in the 95% for height and the 35% for weight, translates, she's tall and thin. i already knew that, shopping for slacks and jeans for her is no small challenge!

lavinia is in pre-school now at st. mark lutheran school 3 days a week and she thinks it is "so much fun!" she loves to tell us that school makes her "so excited!" and she's always asking us when she can go back. i just love how much she enjoys school, we are very grateful for that gift. lavinia is still our talker, very open and expressive and gives us plenty of opportunity to laugh. last night, lavinia spent the night with a friend for the first time, already a very social butterfly. she is also tall for her age, but a little more solid and she still has some of the baby roundness to her face that lights up easily with a charming smile.

helena is walking and more often, climbing all over the place. this is our first climber and it's proving to be a challenge. she doesn't seem to understand why we just won't let her climb everything she can find. she has a full head of hair, the first one of our children to have this much hair this young. helena started in the toddler program at st. mark with the start of the school year. most of the time, she really enjoys it... not crazy about when we drop her off, but that's mostly for our benefit, she becomes a very busy little girl just after we leave. it is sometimes a challenge, with her being just around the corner from my office, jeremy and i have disturbed her a time or two when they were going for a walk, sometimes she gets very happy to see us and waves with a big smile and other times we can hear her wail for a while. she is right in the center for height and weight, a text book average baby.

jeremy and i are doing well, very busy as we gear up for the holidays. we have also had to invest a lot of energy in dealing with the sexual assualt case of ophelia. this has not been easy, very draining and time consuming. still, i am constantly amazed at the strength of our daughters and even ourselves, i know we couldn't do it without Christ. even as we are embroiled with the legal side of this and seeking healing and help, we are even more passionate about using our experience to help educate others. ignorance is not prevention but perhaps is one of the worst offenders in allowing such acts of evil to continue. i must admit to moments of anger in how society, particularity christian society, handles this topic... not even just the topic, but the actual reality of this evil in our communities, alas, even right in front of their faces within our congregations. we aren't sure yet how we are to help raise awareness, but part of what we want is to be able to help other boys and girls that have gone through sexual abuse, educate parents as to how to prevent and if need be, spot signs of sexual abuse, and to help prevent the boys and/or girls (and adults) that are at risk of being the perpetrator in a sexual abuse incident from finding themselves lost in the terrible world of a sexual offender. i believe that if we can help them to see the danger within themselves to cause someone else harm and then teach them how to control their impulse behavior, we stand a chance of sparing even a few from this terrible evil. how we go about this, i'm not sure, but we are praying and seeking God's guidance. as we look at our girls, we wonder what we could have done differently to prevent this, but we know we can't live in the world of "what-if?" it will accomplish no good. still, we are seeking ways to be sure we prevent it in the future of our family.

ophelia is doing very well through all of this, even wants to help in teaching other that "this makes Jesus very sad and it's very mean." she is struggling with post-traumatic stress and we do our best to let her know that she is loved, it wasn't her fault and there is nothing "wrong" with her. we are in therapy as a family and we see God's healing already in our lives. yesterday we learned that there was more in the abuse than we had originally thought, even the possibility of repeated abuse incidents. we learned this through a forensic interview that is the legal testimony of both girls as this case is investigated and charges are being prepared. yesterday was a very long day for all of us, but most of all for ophelia as her day included a forensic sexual assualt physical exam which gave us the results we had prayed for. we have been so grateful for the kindness of all those that we meet through this experience, the forensic interviewer, the social worker, the forensic medical examiner (a wonderful nurse that just made us all so comfortable with a very uncomfortable situation), and so many more. the people that deal with this side of things day in and day out are our new hero's, they are amazing people and we can't thank them enough and pray that God will give them special protection and blessings as they have been just that for us. i don't want to risk compromising the case in anyway, so i can't give details, but the criminal investigation began this past tuesday. as the investigating officer makes her report, we simply do our best to cooperate, we should know within a couple of weeks if and what kind of charges the D.A.'s office will be pressing (the chances are very strong that they will press charges). because the suspect is a juvenile, the case will move a little more slowly than normal, but they have told us they would do their best to get our part out of the way ASAP so we can try to return to a more normal life. we certainly hope so. thank you all for your prayers, please continue to think of us and please, talk with your children, talk with your families, don't live in fear, but live in the confidence that you have done the best you possibly can to protect and educate those you hold so dear. this is the responsibility of all of us.

i'm so sorry that this has been such a long post, i promise to post more regularly again! if you read this in the next few days, please be in prayer for those in the path of hurricane ivan. many members of my family in florida are gearing up for their thrid hurricane in 5 weeks and we are very concerned for their well being.

i hope to hear from you, please feel free to email or comment here, looking forward to hearing how you and yours are doing.

-jessica